Two Random Brain Hiccups   Leave a comment

So, a couple of random phrases struck me today. Someone said something, and my brain just came up with an uncomfortable, “Huh?” to what they said. And, since I have a blog with which to thoughtlessly cast my frustrations into the uncaring void of the internet, I decided to do some thoughtless casting.

Up with Forgiveness, Down with Second Chances

First, some characters on a television show started talking about second chances. And I realized at that moment that I didn’t like second chances. I like forgiveness, but not second chances. When one person betrays another, they can try to work past it. They can acknowledge it and move on. They can pretend like it didn’t happen. But they can never make it so that it didn’t happen. They can never completely unring that bell in their relationship. They can persevere to the point that the bell is a tiny bell and completely forgotten, but they can never unring it.

People don’t need second chances, they need forgiveness. Forgivenss gives a person just as many avenues to proceed, but without making the relationship a crass shadow of itself. A second chance is something outside the relationship. The phrase, “Everyone deserves a second chance.” is simply not true. Some people are not owed second chances, though calling it a second chance rather than forgiveness makes it seem like they are. Or again, when someone is “offered a second chance,” it makes it sound as if somebody is being done a favor. Forgiveness is not a favor. It is many wonderful things, but a favor isn’t one of them.

I don’t know, my abstract reasons aside, maybe I just don’t like second chances because they seem like a dumb thing to base a relationship off of. With my wife, when one of us hurts the other, we take steps to make sure the hurt is minimized in the future and we move on. We don’t pretend like nothing happened, because if we did it could happen again. Or, in the few cases in which our relationship could have ended, getting another chance didn’t factor into the equation at all. It wasn’t about whether to one of us who hurt the other would get anything, it was about whether or not the hurt party wanted to shoulder forward. Second chances focus on the wronging party, not the wronged party, so they just don’t factor in our relationship. That absence of second chances from my emotional lexicon is really what made my brain hiccup.

Eating Too Much

In another conversation, an older friend of mine talked about how they ate too much, and my brain just kind of froze. I remember people talking like that in the distant past, but since my diet changed, that kind of thinking is just so far from me that it took me a few seconds to process it.

I can and do eat junk food. It doesn’t happen often, but it happens. But eating too much is just not a category that registers for me. A healthy diet has you eating when you’re hungry, and stopping when you’re full. It’s been a hard habit to break, but I’ve even started throwing away extra food that I know I won’t get to as leftovers (I’m sorry mom, but that poorly seasoned steak was never going to end up in the stomachs of starving Chinese children). Don’t get me wrong, I try to save as much food for leftovers as I can, but sometimes it’s just not going to happen.

Now, I still occasionally eat too much when I deliberately ignore when my stomach tells me it’s full. Sometimes, tasty food will do that to you, but my friend was talking about eating too much in a general sense. And that just blew my mind. For a few moments, I just didn’t know how to respond.

In the end, my response was to be really ticked off at the health information that gets spread around these days. Our bodies know better than we do what they need to be healthy. Always cleaning your plate is bad for you. Eating when you’re hungry is good for you. Trying to control your weight is bad for you. Ignoring your weight while you eat healthy and exercise is good for you. Calories barely count as nutritional information. The list of ingredients IS the nutritional information. I even saw one statistic that suggested that WHAT you eat is more important than how much you eat in determining weight and health outcomes.

You can’t just flip a switch and know what your body is trying to tell you, but you can start ignoring all the crap that food advertisers have been filling our heads with. Don’t decide in advance that the food on your plate is “eating too much” or not going to be enough. Eat it, and see how you feel. If you pay attention long enough, and tend towards the foods that make your head clearer and your day easier, you’ll be eating healthy in no time. Most people eat badly enough that just avoiding the foods that make us cranky or groggy will go a long way.

Those are my rants for the day. I’m not a nutritionist or a relationship expert, but I am observant and I know what works for me. You shouldn’t take my word as gospel, but I hope you find it worth thinking about.

Also, in salute of a state legislature that I might talk about later, VAGINA.



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